Well, this is a little strange. No preamble. No framing of the discussion. And, let me see if I got this right, *checks notes*, an entire blog post that’s reflective in nature. Cue the Fry quote that’s been memed to death at this point, “I’m shocked. Shocked. Well, not that shocked.”
Ladies and gents, I tried. I really did try. I had enough ideas to mark my 350th blog post that they could be immortalized as chicken scratchings on a scrunched-up piece of paper that’s no doubt made a new home in a nearby mini bin. But for whatever reason, none of them clicked in place for me and I was essentially not feeling them.
However, I think it’s important to ruminate from time to time on the larger questions that can sometimes keep you up at night. And the question of why I continue writing has been on my mind lately. This year, I fulfilled two writing goals that I’ve had for a while. The first was the publication of an article in a UK film magazine (Filmhounds Magazine), which felt like a godsend after trying to hit my native market for so long. And the second was the publication of my first-ever video game review (via Horror Obsessive), which felt extra meaningful because it was for a remake of my favourite title in the medium.
Naturally, after any endeavour, there’s an understandable case of the blues, that kicks in because something you’ve been fixated on for a certain amount of time is gone. However, the feelings I sat with after achieving these two goals were scary. I felt akin to someone who had reached the summit of a great mountain and had no other rocky terrains to conquer. In other words, I hopelessly felt as though I had nothing else to say. This lasted about a week, and since then, more ideas (thankfully) have started to inspire me a lot.
But the central question has loomed in my mind since then. I guess the answer to why I continue writing is twofold. Firstly, I think it’s essential to my internet identity. Collectively, we all have an internet footprint that we choose to express, be it via photos or a daily account of our thoughts on a social media platform/blog. I’ve never felt comfortable about sharing my entire life on social media, so writing about films (among other things) is my way of making my mark on the world wide web. There’s a pride in developing a body of work that people can see.
And as odd as it may sound, I do think that it’s my legacy. I’ve never wanted kids. But I do think there are other ways to leave something behind. Fundamentally, my reviews and pieces that grace the blog, as well as other sites, are my way of doing that.
The second reason why I continue writing is the challenge. I never take the proverbial blank page for granted, and sometimes it is a struggle to get what you’re feeling on paper. But it’s something that I do my utmost to not shrink from at all. Self-expression (via the written word) is essential and something that requires constant attention, like preparing a well-cooked meal or looking after a plant.
More than ever, I want to thank each and every one of you who has read, commented or liked my posts over the years. It’s never ceased to be appreciated. And I hope you continue to join me on this crazy blogging ride. When time permits, I’d like to return to long pieces as well as experiment with some new segments and themed months.